


gray.

by spaceboiiii



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Chatting & Messaging, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Mental illness implied, Sorry Not Sorry, Texting, chatfic, i'm low on words so you get a textfic, in which kuroken is #relatable, it's not an issue or anything but he's trans because i said so, suicide ideation, text fic, trans!kuroo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-18
Updated: 2016-07-18
Packaged: 2018-07-24 17:56:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7517785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spaceboiiii/pseuds/spaceboiiii
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>when the majority of your state of being is a mottled blend of dark and light, sometimes you have to focus on the one you love to get you through the day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	gray.

**Author's Note:**

> I just  
> needed this

**Me** [20:49] today was actually exhausting

 **Kenma >:3c** [20:50] are u ok?

 **Me** [20:51] yea

 **Me** [20:53] im just

 **Me** [20:53] idk. feeling. weird

 **Kenma >:3c** [20:55] do u need me to come over

 **Me** [20:55] that’d be rly nice actually

 **Me** [20:55] please do

 **Me** [20:56] might not talk tho

 **Kenma >:3c** [20:58] thats fine

 **Kenma >:3c** [20:58] you know im not exactly. loquacious

 **Me** [20:58] yea i know

 

 **Me** [21:23] are u almost here

 **Kenma >:3c** [21:26] here

 **Kenma >:3c** [21:30] what are you rn?

 **Me** [21:31] idk

 **Me** [21:32] 40% frustrated, 55 gray, 5 hungry

 **Me** [21:32] wbu?

 **Kenma >:3c** [21:34] 30 bored, 40 gray, 15 restless 10 sad

 **Me** [21:34] want to go for a walk?

 **Kenma >:3c** [21:34] nah. it’s mental restlessness i think

 **Me** [21:34] ok. ily

 **Kenma >:3c** [21:35] love u too

 **Me** [21:36] sorry for making u text so u cant play games on ur phone

 **Kenma >:3c** [21:36] it’s alright. you’d do the same for me, so

 **Kenma >:3c** [21:36] im not even sure what id want to play rn

 **Kenma >:3c **[21:38] are u frustrated about anything in particular?

 **Me** [21:38] i

 **Me** [21:38] i don’t think so?

 **Me** [21:38] like as far as stealth goes im fine

 **Me** [21:38] everyone thinks im a cis dude for the most part

 **Me** [21:39] i don’t know

 **Me** [21:40] i know biochem is like, what im good at and pays well and stuff

 **Me** [21:40] but when i try to look into my future i don’t see me as a chemist or researcher or anything

 **Kenma >:3c **[21:40] what do you see yourself as?

 **Me** [21:41] that’s the thing, i can’t see anything

 **Me** [21:43] like i know you’ve mentioned u think the same thing sometimes and u don’t know what to do with it either but

 **Me** [21:44] idk im just feeling particularly useless lately and i don’t know what my life’s worth other than passing the time and keeping you company

 **Kenma >:3c **[21:44] i feel the same way, tbh

 **Kenma >:3c **[21:44] i don’t want to live in the world we were born into

 **Kenma >:3c **[21:45] i don’t want to have to choose something to do then sell myself to this system and wind up making myself hate myself and my job and my life

 **Me** [21:45] but at the same time if we don’t do anything

 **Kenma >:3c **[21:45] we feel useless

 **Me** [21:45] exactly

 **Me** [21:45] fuck the system tbh

 **Kenma >:3c **[21:45] ^^^

 **Me** [22:02] maybe we can find a way to make our lives meaningful just by being each others company

 **Me** [22:03] like I love you and you love me and we can try to make that be enough

 **Kenma >:3c **[22:03] that’s how ive lasted this long tbh

 **Kenma >:3c **[22:04] i cant say id have lasted high school without you, probably

 **Me** [22:05] I love you so much kenma

 **Kenma >:3c **[22:05] I love you too

 **Me** [22:09] the thing is like i don’t even want to die I just. don’t want to live

 **Me** [22:10] I just want to be happy and no matter how charismatic I am

 **Me** [22:10] no matter how many friends I make or high marks I get im still just

 **Me** [22:10] gray.

 **Me** [22:11] i just want to be happy

 **Me** [22:11] i just want both of us to be happy

 **Kenma >:3c **[22:13] same

 **Me** [22:14] ily. u make this world bearable

 **Kenma >:3c **[22:14] same <3

 **Me** [22:18] can we make out

 

 **Me** [22:58] that was a little heavier than making out

 **Me** [22:58] not that im complaining

 **Me** [23:00] ur so good to me  <3

 **Kenma >:3c** [23:01] i love you tetsurou

 **Me** [23:01] i love you too kenma

 **Me** [23:02] i love sucking you off

 **Me** [23:03] i love making you feel good and making u forget about the shitty world we live in

 **Me** [23:03] if only for a little bit

 **Kenma >:3c** [23:04] me too

 **Kenma >:3c** [23:04] i love doing that for you too

 **Me** [23:05] doing what? ;) ;) eating me out?

 **Kenma >:3c** [23:05] tetsu

 **Kenma >:3c** [23:05] ily but u know i cant go again as soon as u can

 **Me** [23:05] pussy privilege ;)

 **Kenma >:3c** [23:06] tetsu

 **Kenma >:3c** [23:06] please

 **Kenma >:3c** [23:08] .... 

 **Kenma >:3c** [23:09] are u touching urself

 **Kenma >:3c** [23:09] fuck yuo

 

 **Kenma >:3c** [02:56] I love you.

 **Me** [04:31] I love you too <3


End file.
